What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 16.06.2025 07:31
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Is a man over 50 not married no kids a red flag?
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
What’s wrong with anti-imperialism?
Who then, do I blame.?
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
(And it was in our own minds.)
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
So whats the point in blame.
What happens to single guys when they get older?
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
All the time i was locked up.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
What is the general opinion of psychologists on Donald Trump's presidency?
She wouldn,t have been !
I have no regrets .
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Why do so many guys love anime girls?
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
How do you stop your balls from sweating?
When she asked me how she looked .
This is soul school!.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
What is unattractive about a nice guy? Why do some women don’t choose nice guys?
I don,t even have a pension.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
How do I convince flat earthers that the earth is round?
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
What is it like to be a Christian in Iran?
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I waited trembling.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
And who doesn’t know suffering?
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I know ,a lot about trauma.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
She married twice! .
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
It was going to be , some day.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
He resisted the act ,that day.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
What did i know ?
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Put me off passion for life!!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
She loved him until the end.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
We were not on the streets..
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I never cut or harmed myself..
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Especially a lifetime of it.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I was seconnd youngest,
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
As i do to all so called friends.?
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Comes on , in middle age.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I write beautiful poetry .
I think the readers, may guess!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
I said to her
She found it foreign!.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
He knew the spot.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
My life is so biszare .
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
My family never makes their pension either.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
But, we were locked up after school.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
The only rule us 5 kids had .
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Im still living with it.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
She was in good health!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I was very sick at this time too.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Would this be the day?
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I was 9 years of age.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Why did i forgive my father ?
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
We all went to grammer schools
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
And i lived it daily.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I will be 64.
So, i spoilt her more .
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Ive learnt so much.
But ive been too sick for many years..
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I could never make a relationship work though!
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
But it wasn’t much.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Was to survive, this bastard.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
One cannot live in the past .
I was scared of men, in general
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !